Last week of maternity leave

The past 6 months have gone a lot quicker than I ever could have expected and as I sit here quietly enjoying a relaxing coffee whilst Mia is napping I have a little tear in my eye as I realise this is my last Monday at home before going back to work. My last Monday spending the day with my little girl, playing games, singing songs, cuddling her, feeding her and settling her to sleep.

I've spent the past couple of weeks trying to get into the headspace of returning to work, and I think I have successfully managed to achieve this. I have made a list of all the things I want to set out and achieve this year at work, already arranged meetings for my first week back and genuinely looking forward to the challenge of using my brain for something other than creating rap songs for Mia! However no matter how hard I try I still can't seem to come to terms with the thought of leaving my little girl in the care of others.  I try so hard to focus on the positives; she will become more socially adjusted, she will learn that there are other people she can trust, she will be stimulated more, she will have fun, the time I will spend with her will mean so much more. Yet I find myself focusing far more on the negatives; what if she doesn't sleep properly and is always tired and grumpy at home, what if she hates it and cries there, what if she resents me for leaving her, will she end up sick all the time? I've made a list of about a million questions to ask her carers when we start orientation tomorrow, I fear I am becoming that painful, over protective mother! I have also decided to reach out and seek the support of other career driven women that have returned to work with young babies in order to widen my support network and have some guidance to help me navigate through this difficult time. I'm sure that like anything in life there will be an initial adjustment period for both Mia and myself but that once we find our rhythm we both won't know the world to be anything different.

So for now I am going to try to relax, block work out of my mind for one more week, enjoy this precious last week at home with my little girl (would appreciate it if Melbourne would bring back summer though) and go to the chemist and stock up on tissues and water proof mascara for Mia's first day in childcare.