Friday, February 20, 2015

Week 2 not so smooth sailing!

Whilst week one of my return to work was a success I can't quite say the same for week 2.
On Monday morning there was no bouncing out of bed at 4.45am in the morning, the snooze button on the alarm was indeed pressed as week 1 had perhaps taken its toll on me (though I would never admit it). I left Mia in the care of my mum for the day and it was off to work for week 2! Upon arrival at work I parked my car in a 2 hour parking spot as I needed to take it to the mechanics, at 1pm I realised that not only had I completely forgotten to take it to the mechanics but it was still in the 2 hour parking zone. Of course I received a parking fine so it was an expensive start to the week!
Tuesday I did manage to drag myself out of bed at 4.45am and off to the gym, as I always feel so much better after exercising, it was a positive start to the day until I got Mia up and she was coughing like crazy so there was no way I could send her to childcare and only a little over a week into being back at work I was already needing to take a day off to care for my little girl (secretly not complaining though as loved the cuddles I got from my sick little princess). Rookie error though and I had not bought my laptop home the night before and there was work that needed to be done so in between Mia napping we made a mad dash into the office to pick up the laptop so that I could at least accomplish some work when Mia was sleeping.
Wednesday we had Mia's 6 month immunisations which she handled like a a little trooper, her middle name Charlotte means strong and that she certainly is!! I have been extremely lucky so far with Mia sleeping through the night since about 3 months old but not this week! Of course she decides upon my return to work that she will start waking during the night. I don't know whether she is going through a 6 month growth spurt, teething, having reactions to the immunisations or just unsettled due to her cold but she decided it would be great to wake up at 1.30am and took awhile to resettle.
Thursday morning she seemed well enough to send to childcare so it was off to work and care for us.  I spent the day unable to focus 100% at work as I was worried about Mia and was really wishing I was cuddled up on the couch with her instead of her being sick being cared for by strangers. I started to doubt my decision about returning to work so early. We also experienced our first day care mix up with Mia returning home with another child's shorts and without her sleeping bag!
Finally it was Friday, only one more day to get through before getting to spend my weekend with Mia, having been up for 1 1/2 hours settling a sick bubba at 3am it was definitely a 2 cups of coffee kind of morning! Knowing Mia was safe and sound in the comfort of her own home being cared for by a nanny made the day at work a lot easier. Until 3pm it was a relatively uneventful day and then somehow whilst walking back to my desk I managed to snap one of my heels resulting in me having to hobble around for the remainder of the afternoon. Made all the more frustrating by the fact that I had recently paid $20 to have the ends of the heels replaced, looks like a shopping trip for new shoes on the weekend is in order.
We finally made it to the weekend and it is safe to say that Mia and I will both be having a very quiet weekend!

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Survived week 1!

I am pleased to say that both Mia and mummy survived week one of me being back at work! Unfortunately week 2 is not quite going to plan, with little miss already sick with her first childcare illness!
After our last minute childcare debacle I am extremely comfortable with the new centre we found for Mia and my transition back to work last week was made all that smoother with the comfort of knowing that my little bubba was being well looked after by some wonderful carers.  In fact Mia enjoyed her days at care so much she didn't even want to know me when I went to pick her up, she was too busy playing with new toys and new friends! This did make me feel a little sad, knowing my bubba could survive just fine without her mummy, whilst this week has been hard with Mia being unwell it is nice to know that in times of pain all she wants to do is snuggle up close and have some cuddles with her mummy and that she does need me after all.
Returning to the office it was as though I had never left, a few new faces around the office but not much has changed and I felt like I hit the ground running. I always thought the most challenging part of returning to work would be leaving my little girl, of course I found it hard saying goodbye to her but I did surprise myself and didn't shed a tear as I dropped her off at care with her smiling little face looking at me as if too say "I'm ok mummy, you don't have to worry about me, I love you and I'll have fun today". I also thought that I would struggle to focus on my job as I would be constantly thinking and worrying about my little girl, but again I surprised myself, of course I thought about her during the day and I did miss her but I was able to focus on my job.
I actually loved being back at work, though it could just be a novelty factor, so will see if I am still saying that I love work in a months time!
I did quickly realise a few things upon my return to work:
- wearing heals after 6 months of wearing sneakers and thongs was painful 
- 1 coffee a day is no longer going to cut it, though 3 coffees is probably 1 too many
- it is awesome being near the Sth Melb market again, hello cheap avocados and nice fresh seafood
- the task of leaving for work in the morning requires a lot more coordination and effort as I have to organise not only myself but also my mini me
- no longer can I get home from work and collapse on the couch with a glass of wine, for when I get home from the office my other job begins and the challenge of dinner, bath and bed becomes all that more challenging after being at work for the day
- I now have to get up at a time that begins in a 4 if I still want to squeeze in some exercise before work! I always used to have the rule that no alarm should ever be set beginning in anything less than a 5!!
- it is exhausting having to use my brain again
- using excel is like riding a bike but PowerPoint still frustrates the hell out of me
- the weekends are now awesome because the time I do spend with Mia is so much more special




Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Dear 6 month old Mia


When I was pregnant I wrote a blog to my little girl, I'm now writing another one to her 6 months later.

To my little girl,

It's hard to believe that it's been 6 months since you came into my life, at times it feels like it was only yesterday that I held you in my arms for the first time, at other times it feels like a lifetime ago. In 6 short months you have grown and changed so much, every day you seem just that little bit bigger than yesterday and you seem to learn something new each day.  Your cheeky little grin melts my heart, your signature photo pose of poking out your tongue makes me smile and the way you munch down food like the Cookie Monster makes me laugh. I sometimes wish I could freeze time and keep you this small forever, other times I wish you would grow up quicker so that I can teach you to ride a bike, take you to the zoo and have you read to me.
I'm now back at work which means we no longer get to spend all of our days together but when we are together we can have even more fun because the time together is now so much more precious. As much as I hate being away from you I know how much fun you are having at childcare with the carers and all of your new friends.  It makes me a little sad knowing that you now have a life of your own that I'm not part of.
I love the way your little face lights up when I get your bed time story off the shelf, it's like you know that you get a few more minutes before you have to go to sleep. We read the same story every night "Mr Brown can Moo, can you?" by Dr Seuss, your Pa Mick gave it to you and you absolutely love it, especially when Mr Brown makes a grum grum grum noise like a hippopotamus chewing gum.
I love watching you wriggle your way around the lounge room until you make your way to your favourite hiding spot, underneath the couch! I love seeing the look of determination on your face as you try to reach for that toy that is not quite within your reach and you wriggle around until you get there. You're not crawling yet but still you manage to move around a lot, I wouldn't be surprised if you are crawling soon. I love the way you kiss and also attack the baby in the mirror, I'm not sure if you have realised yet that the baby is you!
You are such a happy little girl, yet you are not what I would call placid! You certainly take after your mummy, always on the go and determined to do whatever you set your little mind too. Sometimes I wish you weren't so energetic and would enjoy having cuddles on the couch with mummy but you are so squirmy and will rarely sit still for more than a minute.

Love Mummy 
xxx



Sunday, February 1, 2015

Last week of maternity leave

The past 6 months have gone a lot quicker than I ever could have expected and as I sit here quietly enjoying a relaxing coffee whilst Mia is napping I have a little tear in my eye as I realise this is my last Monday at home before going back to work. My last Monday spending the day with my little girl, playing games, singing songs, cuddling her, feeding her and settling her to sleep.
I've spent the past couple of weeks trying to get into the headspace of returning to work, and I think I have successfully managed to achieve this. I have made a list of all the things I want to set out and achieve this year at work, already arranged meetings for my first week back and genuinely looking forward to the challenge of using my brain for something other than creating rap songs for Mia! However no matter how hard I try I still can't seem to come to terms with the thought of leaving my little girl in the care of others.  I try so hard to focus on the positives; she will become more socially adjusted, she will learn that there are other people she can trust, she will be stimulated more, she will have fun, the time I will spend with her will mean so much more. Yet I find myself focusing far more on the negatives; what if she doesn't sleep properly and is always tired and grumpy at home, what if she hates it and cries there, what if she resents me for leaving her, will she end up sick all the time? I've made a list of about a million questions to ask her carers when we start orientation tomorrow, I fear I am becoming that painful, over protective mother! I have also decided to reach out and seek the support of other career driven women that have returned to work with young babies in order to widen my support network and have some guidance to help me navigate through this difficult time. I'm sure that like anything in life there will be an initial adjustment period for both Mia and myself but that once we find our rhythm we both won't know the world to be anything different.
So for now I am going to try to relax, block work out of my mind for one more week, enjoy this precious last week at home with my little girl (would appreciate it if Melbourne would bring back summer though) and go to the chemist and stock up on tissues and water proof mascara for Mia's first day in childcare.