Balance is the key!

The key to riding a bike is balance, no balance and you'll find yourself face first on the asphalt! The key to success in life is no different, it's all about balance, however finding the right balance in life is somewhat more difficult than balancing on a bike (unless of course you've had a few vino's, then balancing on a bike can be a little more challenging).

After a relaxing holiday in the sun last week, I have come back refreshed with a new lease on life and a clear vision of what I want (though that could just be my 2nd glass of wine talking). I'm having success in my career and actually feeling really positive in this space, I finally feel like I've found my balance in the work/mum juggling act that isn't always easy. My fears of no longer being successful in my career have disappeared as I realise I am still the same career focused woman I have always been, only difference is it's now not my number 1 priority in life.

Last Sunday I enjoyed a great ride with some great friends on a sunny Melbourne spring morning, and whilst my fitness is nothing like it used to be, the chance to get out and ride and chat and be me was such an amazing feeling and a great way to spend a Sunday morning. Lately I've found it all too easy to find reasons not to exercise, too tired, too busy with work, wanting to spend time with Mia. Sunday made me realise just how much I need exercise to be me! It's who I am, it's in my blood, not just going to the gym but getting out in the fresh air and going for a ride or a run. It's been almost 2 years since I last ran and for the first time this week I had the desire to run again, though given a weak pelvic floor this could end in disaster! 

I even baked this week, healthy treats of course! Yes I'm a bit of a nanna, but baking is therapeutic and good for the sole! Plus it gives Mia and I healthy treats to snack on. I think Mia is thanking her lucky stars that she's got a mum that loves cooking so much!

The time spent with Mia this week has been better than ever, as all I've done is focused on her during that time, the dishes and chores can wait, work can be done when she's in bed and I've set aside time just for me. It's amazing how much more you appreciate time with a child when you are completely present and attentive and not worrying about jobs that need to be done. Though Mia is a pretty good little helper so we do manage to do washing together, just need to teach her to only take clothes off the clothes line when dry not wet, and to put clothes in the drawers not take them out. I've not rushed bedtime once this week but rather let her choose books for me to read, the squeals of delight as she chooses another book is music ever to my ears and I don't even care if I'm creating a child that will ask for millions of stories before bed time!

I want my little girl to see me for me, not just me as mum. I want to be the best female role model that she has in life, I want to teach her that she can be whatever she wants to be and that you don't have to make choices in life because you really can have it all, sure you may need to prioritise, but with the right balance you really can have it all.

Time to be me!!

Here I sit 30,000 feet in the air with a small sweaty child fast asleep in my lap, one chubby little hand resting on my arm with the other at her mouth as she sucks on her thumb. I sit watching her sleep and wonder how I got here, how my life went from travelling overseas carting a bike bag to travelling to Noosa with a pram and an infant. We've just had the most beautiful week away enjoying some precious mother daughter time in the sunshine, away from all of the stresses of day to day life where the only decisions we needed to make each day was where to have our morning coffee and babycino. I love my little girl more than anything in the world but as we sit here now, me willing her to stay asleep so that she doesn't annoy the uptight couple to the left of us, I think about my old life. A life filled with training long hours, working even longer hours, being spontaneous, socialising over wine and good food. It's amazing how something so small can change your life so quickly and so drastically. Whilst I wouldn't change anything about my life (asides maybe winning lottery and moving somewhere on the beach!) I find myself at times missing me, not necessarily missing my old life but missing 'me'. I feel I am now suddenly defined as a mum, that when I gave birth the old me disappeared and I suddenly just became a mum and that was who I would be from now on. I find myself making career decisions not based on what is best for me but what is best for my family, I no longer spend hours training and keeping fit, but rather try to cram in 40mins at the gym on a lunch break. I am envious of those friends that are still childless that can enjoy the luxury of a weekend sleep in, can laze around having brunch and reading the newspaper and can spontaneously go out for dinner and drinks to fancy restaurants.

My daydreaming is suddenly interrupted by a sudden wetness and warmth seaping into my shorts as I realise that the small sweaty infant in my lap has just weed on me, I regret now not having changed her nappy before we got onto the plane, though I am thankful that it's only wee and nothing else! As a piercing scream from another child startles the one on my lap I am quickly bought back to the reality of motherhood, changing nappies, singing songs, playing games and doing anything to keep her happy for the remainder of the flight.

As I disembark the flight I vow to be the best mum I can possibly be to my daughter but I also now make a promise to myself to regain some of me. For regaining my own identity will only make me a better mother and role model to my gorgeous little girl. It's time to stop feeling selfish for having time to be me, to dust off the bike and get back on the road!