Getting out of a rut

Lately I have found myself in a rut that I haven't seemed to be able to get out of. There doesn't seem to be one individual thing driving this rut, just a number of smaller things that I've allowed to compound into a deep rut.

I've found myself not exercising, finding a million excuses not to, no time, too tired, too many other things to do. Yet I know that being fit is one of the things that makes me feel good about myself and contributes to my happiness.

I've found myself getting frustrated with my job, but not for any real reason, I think the juggling act of full time work and motherhood has started to take its toll and I feel like I'm not doing either to the best of my ability which frustrates the hell out of me. I always love to put 110% into everything I do and so when I'm not I get dissapointed with myself.

I've been on the search for a new house, a place to call home for Mia and I. I fell in love with a beautiful place that would have been perfect for us, only to get outbid at auction last week which really got me down. The search is time consuming and draining and so not my style! I like to decide on something and just go out and get it, not have to fight for it!

I've felt like I've been in some kind of mid life crisis, where I woke up one day and started wondering how the hell my life got to be the way it is. 

Then this morning as I watched my super adorable little mini me walking around the house with her cute blonde pigtails with her hand out saying 'stop' I did just that, I stopped. I paused and took a deep breath and I let it out with a huge sigh of relief and a smile on my face. I realised that the answer to my rut was to stop all of my negative thoughts and think only positively. I gave that adorable little girl a huge hug and a kiss and we did a little dance as we walked out the door. I spent the day feeling positive with work, refocused and managing one thing at a time and not worrying about anything outside of my control. 

It's amazing how the power of positive thought can really change your whole outlook. Now if only the power of positive thought could just find me a new house for the right price!

Enjoy life - do whatever makes you happy!

It seems that all too often these days we are taking on the advice of others, whether the advice is coming from friends, family, or so called experts. Everyone seems to have an opinion on the 'right' way to live life. What you should eat, wear, drink (or not drink), how to raise children, where to invest money, the list goes on.

There is no 'right' way to live life, but there is only 'one' way to live life and that is to live life doing whatever makes you happy! Happiness will be different for every single person so don't ever feel guilty for doing what makes you happy. Don't judge others and what they do, as long as they are happy in life then what should it matter to you what they are doing! Don't envy others and their happiness, you choose everything you do in life so choose to do what makes you happy. 

I'm not busy!!

I'm not busy says she who by 11am on a Saturday morning has already cycled 70km, washed and hung out 3 loads of laundry, cleaned out the fridge and freezer, menu planned and grocery shopped and even washed one very dirty bike!!

This past week I attended a networking event hosted by Westpac Bank where the guest speaker was Kate Christie, author of a book called Me Time - The Professional Woman's Guide to finding 30 guilt-free hours a month! It was a great event and she spoke about being busy and how we can be less busy in our lives, sharing 5 key tips!

Positive Mindset

I don't know how many times when someone asks me how I am my immediate response is 'I'm good, but so busy at the moment' and quickly the conversation can turn to a negative one about how busy everyone is. So yesterday when a colleague asked how I was I replied with 'I'm really good!' Her response back was 'busy though right?' to which I laughed and said no! My response no doubt surprised her so I had to launch into an explanation about the event I had attended the previous evening. From now on I'm going to think of myself as being super productive which is far more positive than saying I'm busy! And to be honest 80% of my busyness is all of my own doing!

Stop Multitasking!

Apparently despite the common belief that women are great multitaskers there is only 2% of the population that are genuinely good at multi-tasking so to be more productive in our days we should all stop multitasking!! When it comes to the work place I completely agree with this, I know how disruptive a simple check of an email or text can be when I'm in the middle of working on something. I even pulled myself up the other day when I was trying to pull together 2 presentations at the same time and could quickly see a disaster unfolding so closed one and focused on finishing one at a time.  However at home I genuinely do believe I am a good multitasker so perhaps I fit within the 2% of the population!! I can cook 2 meals whilst doing the dishes and putting on the laundry! Sure there have been times when the recipe hasn't quite gone to plan because I've missed out vital ingredients, but largely at home I think I can multitask!!

Say 'no' in a nice way!

So many of my friends and colleagues complain all the time about how busy they are but they generally have one thing in common, they can't say no to people, they are too nice!! You don't have to be rude when saying no, but for our own sanity we have to stop committing to too many things and learn how to politely say no to people.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying no!! Choose the things you want to say yes to and politely say no to anything else!!

Put a price on your time

Work out an hourly rate for yourself and think about how much money is then wasted on time zapping activities, the example that was used on the evening was that if you value your time at $50 an hour and you spend one hour per day on Facebook then you are wasting $18,000 per year!! Now I'm pretty sure if someone said to you that it was going to cost you $50/hour to use Facebook most people would stop using it!! The other tip was to insource!! There are plenty of things your kids can be doing to help out and save you time, apparently a 7 year old is capable of making their own school lunches - hopefully they are also capable of cleaning up the mess afterwards! I wonder what chores I can start giving to an 18month old, other than of course the laundry which she seems to have mastered!!

Outsourcing

Going on with the theme of valuing your time she spoke about how often it can be cheaper to outsource activities when you put an hourly rate on your time, often you can get someone to do something at a lower rate and more efficiently!! I am all for outsourcing having recently rehired a cleaner  that has given me back my weekends to focus on activities that I enjoy and spending more valuable time with my precious little girl.  Sure I could be saving that money but if you value your time as money too then really I'm ahead.

After the event I started to think about where all my time went and how I could save more time, I realised quickly that I spend far too much time on social media and other online activities with this often eating into precious sleep time. So this weekend I am going out and buying an alarm clock so I don't have to use my phone as an alarm and each night when I go to bed the phone can stay in the kitchen! So many an evening I go to bed and I just do a quick check of emails which turns into a check of Instagram and then Facebook then realestate.com and so forth and before I know it I've lost an hour of sleep time!! I'm also going to be smarter with cooking, there is no need to cook gourmet meals each night of the week, no one died from eating just meat and veg, sure it's not quite as exciting but such a quick and easy option and still very nutritious!!

So next time someone asks you how you are, don't say busy and if you are super busy then think about what you can do to change it and what you would do with your time if you could get back an hour a week!!

Being Independent

As I watch my little girl grow more and more each day, I see her independence strengthen by the minute and I realise quickly that the young girl I see in front of me is just a pint sized version of myself. From a young age I've always been fairly independent. My parents raised me to be a strong and independent young woman.

Unfortunately sometimes I think perhaps I'm too independent, it's not always a positive trait. I struggle to ask others for help, for I am too proud and have to do everything myself. Yesterday as someone offered to give me a hand carrying my bags I politely declined and then I heard a little parrot pipe in "we're all good, thanks" at 2, she is already turning down assistance and insisting on doing everything on her own. I suppose I should at least be grateful that she used her manners!

I often find it hard to let others in, sure I have amazing friends but I often keep them at an arms length and don't share a lot of my feelings with them. I'd rather people see me as strong and independent with no weaknesses. I often believe that the reason I am single is because I'm too independent, I like my life the way it is, I like doing what I want and went I want. Perhaps that's just known as selfishness as opposed to being independent, maybe.

I'm self sufficient and have been for a long time, I earn my own money, I can change a tyre on my car, I can fix my bike, in most aspects of life I'm pretty good at fending for myself. I've always thought it's a great thing to be self sufficient and independent but as I watch my little girl grow I realise that it's not all it's cracked up to be. It's my job to teach her that independence is good, but it's also good to let others in to help you. Don't put up you wall so high that no one  can ever climb over, don't keep your friends at arms length, let them in for the good and the bad. Be self sufficient but don't be too proud to be resourceful and seek help from those around you.

A letter to all women...

Pour yourself a glass of wine and raise a toast to yourself, for you are truly amazing. As women we seem to have so much pressure on us, yet 99% of this pressure comes from ourselves. We cause ourselves so much stress and angst yet we continue to do it to ourselves. We need to stop! We don't need to be perfect, we shouldn't have to be!

To all the mums out there, don't worry if your house is untidy and your kids covered in dirt. This just means your children are having fun, houses and kids aren't meant to be too clean. Remember it's all just immunity building!

Don't feel guilty for leaving your children in care whilst you go off to work. You are teaching them equality, it's okay for both mums and dads to work outside of the home. If you are a stay at home mum don't feel guilty when people ask you what you do for work. Don't say you don't work, you do! You have an extremely important job, household manager, the most over worked and underpaid job that exists! If a job ad existed for it no one in their right mind would apply!

To the single ladies, enjoy being single, live and love life, be free and independent. Don't stress about finding mr right (he probably doesn't exist anyway). One day when your loving life he'll come along and sweep you off your feet when you least expect it.

To the dinks, if by choice then don't feel guilty for not having children, they are not for everyone and you shouldn't feel pressured by family and society to have them. Enjoy all the things that couples with children never have time to do!

To the dinks that are desperately praying for that bundle of joy, enjoy your full nights sleep and your peaceful romantic dinners. You'll get that baby one day, even if it's not the smooth journey you hoped for. When the day does arrive you'll appreciate it even more.

To the mums with loving husbands, it's okay to hate them sometimes. After all they can be huge pains in the bums. As long as you love them more than hate them then it's ok!! 

To the single mums, hats off to you, it's not an easy job but remember you don't have that grown up hairy child to care for as well!

So whatever your situation, relax, take some of that pressure of yourself. Ignore that growing pile of laundry in the corner, it will still be there tomorrow, let the kids run around naked in the backyard (at least then they're not contributing to the pile of laundry), let that husband of yours cook his own dinner, go out dancing with the girls and forget about mr right.

Love yourself, you are truly an amazing woman who does an amazing job every day of the week no matter what that job may be. Make sure you not only love yourself but all of the other women in your lives, remind them each and every day of just how amazing they are!

So cheers, I raise my glass of wine (so much for detox) to you!

Detoxing Disaster

So after far too much indulging in good food and wine over the Christmas period and then eating far too many chocolates at work last week (blaming stress!) I felt it necessary to undergo a mini detox. My face was breaking out in pimples, my jeans were starting to feel a tad bit snug and I was generally feeling run down and lathargic!

I got organized on the weekend stocking up on healthy foods, ridding the house of any bad foods and setting myself 3 goals for the week: Stick to all of my exercise plans, drink at least 2L of water a day and start each day with a glass of water with lemon juice. I recently read that the 3 things successful people do each day are rise early, exercise first thing and drink a glass of water with lemon. I figured I was ticking 2 of those boxes so why not add a third by drinking lemon juice!

To help further kick start my detox I decided to order some flat tummy tea which consists of an activate tea that you take each morning and a cleanse tea that you take every second night. 2 days into my detox plan I realised that there is a reason you follow the instructions on the cleansing detox tea. When it says to brew one teaspoon in hot water for 3-5 mins it's probably not a good idea to brew one tablespoon (my bad) for 35 minutes (may have just got slightly distracted). This mishap took place on Monday evening with the effects being noticed the following evening, severe stomach cramps followed by an evening in the loo!

Asides from this slight disaster by all accounts my detox is going great. I'm drinking at least 2 litres of water a day, leading to about 5 extra trips to the bathroom, really not convinced on the benefits of all this extra water when it seems to just go straight through me. I've exercised every day even if it's meant getting up at 4.30 in the morning, resulting in my daily caffeine fix being upgraded to a large, extra strong (and ok my detox isn't proper because I didn't give up caffeine, but I do need to function after 12pm!) I've drank my lemon juice each morning too, yet not noticing any effects of being more successful!

My skin is loving me, my abs are starting to reappear and asides from being ready for bed by 8pm I'm feeling pretty awesome! It's amazing what a little detox can do, just no more brewing detox tea for 35 mins, oven timer now set!!

Feeling Alive

Funnily enough it's the 3 things in the title of my blog that make me the happiest! Biking, baking and of course my baby (despite her really not being a baby anymore). After a week where I have at times felt quite down and angry with myself for feeling that way I needed to get out of my rut. Maybe it's the post holiday blues or the fact that I seem to know a million people that got engaged over the festive season that has got me feeling a little down. So this morning I jumped on the bike and pedaled, I probably wouldn't have actually got out of bed if it hadn't have been for the fact that I committed to meet a friend to cycle. The last thing I felt like doing this morning was ride, but I wasn't about to let my friend down! I warned her that I'd probably be a bit slow given the extreme exhaustion I felt after a week of sleepless nights. Once I started riding though I felt great, the further we cycled the better I felt, we rode along the beach through the hills at Mt Martha and I truly felt alive. I hadn't cycled down there since ironman training and had forgotten how truly beautiful it was. Before I knew it I was smashing those hills and powering along as though trying to prove something to myself. I managed to leave my buddies for dead at one point (sorry Sez and Lou!) and they remembered what it was like to ride with the little mountain goat!! Maybe it was all of the excess sugar that I consumed yesterday that provided me with all of the energy or maybe I aren't quite as unfit as I think I am! 

I'm feeling slightly exhausted and my legs somewhat numb but boy do I feel alive and realize just how much I love getting out on the bike, having time for me, releasing all of my negative thoughts and self doubt and just catching up with good friends as we pedal along.