Mia's Holiday Adventures - The Finale

So my very first holiday has come to an end and I am now safely tucked up in the comfort of my own cot in my own home. Yesterday was a great day, we started off with a trip to Henley beach but it was way too cold to go swimming, I wasn't even upset when mum said it was too cold, I was nice and cosy in my pram. Of course we stopped for mum to have her daily caffeine fix, I am starting to see a correlation here between the number of times I wake up at night and the number of coffees mum has the next day. I was then hurried back to the hotel for a nap so that I could be on my best behaviour for the afternoons viewing of the tour down under final stage. We spent the afternoon watching the cyclists race through the streets of Adelaide, well I watched a little but mostly just snoozed in my pram, one of the best perks of being a baby is having your masters push you around everywhere. During the times that I was awake I turned on the charm and made lots of friends with other spectators, one old lady was even so nice that she gave me a bell to use to cheer on the cyclists, strangely enough my parents seem to have conveniently misplaced this very loud bell.

The highlight of my day though was definitely my luxurious spa bath in the kitchen sink of the hotel, after 3 nights of crying in the bath my parents decided on a new strategy and bathed me in the kitchen sink, it was awesome, I could see the TV and it was the perfect size for me so I kicked back and enjoyed it.

After I had gone to bed my parents sneakily had some ice cream which upset me greatly so I decided that I would wake and cry on the hour until mum gave in and got up and fed me, see I told you boobies fix everything!

I was again rudely awoken at some ridiculous hour of the morning so that we could drive home as quick as possible, with my parents hoping that I would sleep most of the car trip.  This time it was mum that was in spy mode, scooping me up from the porta cot and carrying me carefully down to the hotels basement, but I was on to them this time and it took the vacuum cleaner blaring out the car stereo before I finally fell asleep. I was actually on good behaviour today, no poonamis in the car, I snoozed a lot and I only got cranky as we got close to home. 

I enjoyed my first holiday but I am very happy to be back home with my toys and in my own cot, I think next time we go away I'll request the big bed and the parents can try sleeping in the porta cot and see how they like that stupid thing.

Mia's Holiday Adventures - Day 3

Another poor nights sleep in the porta cot, this time my parents parked my cot in the hallway next to the front door so that I was away from their room, that was such great parenting, umm hello if someone broke in they would grab me first. 

Again my day began with a trip in the car, luckily only a short trip to some waterfalls, I really wanted to go for a swim but apparently the water was too cold for babies. On the stroll to the waterfalls I managed a decent spew all down the front of me and onto dads foot, he wondered why suddenly his foot felt warm. I posed for some photos, of course with my tongue sticking out, that is my signature pose if you haven't worked it out by now.

In the car again, seriously, as if we haven't already done enough driving This time I decided to just oblige and take a nap, that was until they stupidly stopped the car 20mins from our destination and I of course woke up grumpy.  It was definitely pay back time, it was time for a poonami, mum was the first to smell it but they didn't stop to change me, just kept driving, bad move! Arrived at 'the shack' which was really nothing like my Pa Mick's shack, dad got me out of the car and soon realised that I was covered in poo! But don't worry about me, they were more concerned about whether there was poo on the precious car seat. I really had done a very good job of the poonami, not only was it a stinker but it had leaked out both the sides of my nappy as well as up the front and the back, a complete outfit change was required, more washing for mummy!

Finally I was having a fun day though, I got to eat food, roll around on the grass, terrorise a puppy and go for a ride in a boat.  I wanted to try water skiing but again the parentals said something about me being too small, will I ever be big enough to have some real fun? I said I could just barefoot it but they thought that was a silly idea.

Of course the day would not quite be complete without a melt down on the drive back to the hotel, I waited until we were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic before making it well known that I did not want to be in the car.  First dad climbed into the back seat but I still cried, then mum got out of the car and swapped with dad, I just cried harder. Mum gave up and did something very naughty, she took me out of my car seat and fed me (we were stopped in traffic) I instantly stopped crying, boobies will always fix everything. Luckily we didn't get caught by the police though, I didn't want a criminal record before I turn 1.

Mia's Holiday Adventures - Day 2

A bit weary this morning, am hoping that mum has a coffee before she feeds me so that I can get my caffeine fix for the day, I was tossing and turning in that uncomfortable porta cot all night, but don't worry, I made enough noise to also ensure that mum was kept awake too. She'll definitely be needing coffee today!

After my morning nap I get dragged back to the car, oh no not another long car journey.  I protested as loud as I could to make it known that I was not going to co-operate in the car today.  Lucky for me (and for my parents) it was just a short car ride and we were at the beach, I'd never been to the beach before I couldn't wait to roll around and eat some sand.  Unfortunately my parents had different plans for the day, we weren't at the beach for me to play we were here to watch the start of the tour down under stage, boring, think I'll just snooze through this part of the day. Upon waking I thought they would for sure let me eat some sand, but no, they took me down to the beach just to take photos of me. So I still haven't really been to the beach even though my parents photos say otherwise.

I soon realise this day is not about me at all as before I know it we are lunching with some of dads friends, I see 4 plates of food arrive at the table, umm am I invisible here? No I don't want the cucumber off your plates I want my own plate of tasty food or even some milk would do. 

Mum decides I need a proper sleep so we are off back to the hotel but dad has another much more fun idea and we're now off to the pub! Mum forces me to nap by squeezing me into that stupid pouch thing she wears, I feel like I'm a baby kangaroo, it's so hot in here. After my nap I turn up the dial on my cuteness and suddenly everyone in the pub turns their attention to me rather than the TVs showing the tennis and cycling, I don't understand why no one would let me drink a glass of the stuff dad was drinking though?

Mia's Holiday Adventures - Day 1

Mum said my guest blogging this week was so popular that she's let me have another turn!! I'd like to share with you my first holiday adventure.

Day 1

I was deep asleep (well not really I'd been tossing and turning all night because it was so hot) when the door to my room opened and someone snuck in. I though I was being baby napped or starring in Taken 4 but it was ok, just dad! I was whisked out of my cot and straight into the car, very odd as it was the middle of the night. We drove for what felt like forever, but I guess for a 5 month old a day is a very large percentage of my very short life so of course it feels like forever.  

After about 6 hours I was completely over this car ride, I decided it was time to get back at my parents and do a poonami in the brand new car seat, have been saving one up for a few days. After I had filled my nappy I of course didn't want to be sitting in it so I started protesting, my parents kept shushing me telling me to go to sleep, finally they realised that a stench was wafting through the car and then the panick in their voices with mum asking dad if he'd put the nappy on tight enough, turns out he did so the parents won this time and the car seat survives another day. They were then so desperate for me to sleep that they blasted the damn vacuum cleaner noise through the stereo, I hope they realise that I will never be able to vacuum a house without falling asleep.

Upon finally arriving in Adelaide I was keen to check out the Tour Down Under, I was hoping my parents would take me to the expo so that I could get a bike and join in, but no such luck, they are such party poopers. They wouldn't even let me share in the driving for our mammoth car trip, said something about me being too little and not able to reach the peddles.

Blog by Baby - Final Instalment

So it's now the end of the day and I'm being sneaky writing this from my cot when I'm supposed to be sleeping, it's okay, as long as I'm quiet they'll think I'm asleep. So a lot has happened in my day since I finished the 2nd installment of my blog.

Mum took me down to the garage which means one of 2 things, car ride or the pram. The door to the car opens and I'm being put into my capsule, it's a good thing this seat has a 3 point safety harness, mum likes to think she is a bit of a rally car driver. I soon realise that we are in for a long drive so I figure I may as well kick back and relax and have a bit of a snooze, as soon as mum gets off the freeway my eyes are open wide and I realise that time is running out for my poonami, best get onto it, I know how much mum loves it when I poo in the car seat.  Ah there I go, that feels better!

She stops the car and puts me in the boot to change my stinky nappy, what a shame, she put the nappy on well and there was no leakage today. Oh well there is always next time. We're at a park and I see all the big kids running around on the playground, I try jumping off mums lap to join them but she won't let me, she's such a party pooper. She leaves me alone for a minute with her Aunty Wendy and I try to escape from the pram, have never seen someone jump up so quickly to get me!

Mum comes back and she gives me this stick of green stuff to chew on, it's not all that tasty but it is better than chewing on my hand so I gnaw on it for awhile before playing the really fun game of dropping it so that mummy can pick it up and give it back to me. After awhile I am bored so I start to make my grunting noises, I know how much mum hates it when I make these noises, especially when out in public, I continue making them until I'm safely back in the car. Hehe I got my own way, home time!! 

I snooze again on the return home but I always know to wake up just before we get home when mum is stuck at the railway crossing. At this point I start to cry as I know this means mum will sing 'Old MacDonald' to me, she thinks I love this song but really I just love her making a fool of herself making silly farm animal noises.

Suddenly I'm back on my playmat but I think I'm feeling in a needy mood this afternoon so I cry until mum comes to pick me up. She thinks that I'm hungry (but I'm not) so she feeds me and then she thinks that I'm tired, but I'm not (ok really I am I'm just going to refuse to nap though). Back in the cot, but there is no way that I am sleeping, she tries to pat me to sleep for ages and then finally gives up, yay I win again!

Daddy is now home which means mummy palms me off to him for playtime, but daddy has jobs on so he takes me down to the garage and I get to help him instal my new car seat. It's oh so comfy and so very clean, can't wait to spew and poo in this seat, I bet this will make mum and dad really happy.

Dinner time is so much fun, I sit in my high chair and mum gives me some food to play with, it's great I get to make a mess and throw things on the floor and watch mum and dad pick them up for me, I will never tire of this game, but I bet they will! 

Bath time comes next which means it's getting closer to bed time so time to start really playing up. I grizzle in the bath so daddy gets me out, mummy tries to dry me and get me in my pj's but I sook for her too so she starts singing Old MacDonald to me, I laugh at her silly farm animal noises and wriggle around as much as possible making it so hard for her to get me dressed. Mum feeds me and I'm almost asleep but as soon as she puts me in the cot I open my eyes wide and drop the bottom lip, she's tried to put me to bed without my goodnight story. I'm allowed up again and we snuggle in the chair reading some stupid book about a cat in a hat, the pictures are no fun at all but mum seems to like reading it and I pretend to enjoy as it means delaying my bed time.

Finally in bed and I decide to play nice, I give mum a big smile as she tucks me in and I don't even try to cry as she leaves the room. I'll save the trouble for tomorrow night when daddy is in charge!

Blog by Baby - 2nd Instalment

It's now 9am and I'm awake for the 2nd time this morning. Mum comes in to rescue me from my straight jacket and I give her some really cute super big smiles, she must think this is really cute because she runs off to get the camera so she can take photos of me. Sometimes I think I must be a celebrity with how often she takes photos. 

She gives me a big kiss and she smells like coffee, I don't know why she drinks that stuff, it stinks but she says something about coffee helping her get through the day.

Mum takes me into her room and let's me roll around on the bed whilst she gets dressed, funny how her bed doesn't resemble a prison. We then play a game where we pull funny faces at these people that look at us from the wardrobe door, these people look a lot like mummy and me, not quite sure who they are or what they are doing in my house.

I wonder what we will do today, every day is a surprise in my house. I get another feed, a little play on my mat where I chat loudly to my toys, do a few more spews, just to keep mum on her toes. Nappy change time again and mummy says 'no poo, just a wet one', that's right mum, I'm saving my poo's for next time we have to go in the car. She starts dressing me in a cute outfit and puts a cape on me (I think she calls it a bib) this must mean we're going somewhere, woohoo! Hopefully we are going somewhere in the car, it's been awhile since I did a nappy explosion and I'm feeling in the mood to really test out mum's patience today. 

Gotta run, we're on the move, I'll update you later on the rest of my day...

Guest Blogger - Blog by Baby!

Mia asked if it would be okay for her to be my guest blogger for the day, seeing as she asked so politely of course I had to say yes!

A day in the life of a 5 month old baby - by me (baby Mia)

Every day starts in exactly the same way, I wake up in this thing my mum calls a cot, I liken it to a prison as it has high bars ensuring that I cannot escape (well not for now anyway, just wait). I look around my room and stare at the camera attached to my cot, yes I know that big brother (aka mum) is watching me as I sleep. But I have them fooled, if I roll all the way down to the end of the cot and lie sideways then the camera can't see me and I have them fooled! Dad panicked a little the first time I did this!

Mum comes in at 6.15am on the dot (you could set your watch by her) and I give her a cute smile, after all she is my food source and I'm pretty hungry so I don't want to upset her just yet. She unzips me from my straight jacket and I'm free, finally can get my feet into my mouth again, these things are so tasty. Mum picks me up and gives me big cuddles and starts babbling on about something, I start sucking on her neck hoping she'll get the picture that I'm starving, stop messing around and feed me already. Mum takes me to the couch and assumes the feeding position, I make some grunting noises to express my impatience and finally the boob is out and I have milk. I'm pretty hungry so for the next 15mins or so I guzzle down my brekky whilst trying to put my hand in mums mouth.

After brekky mum always talks baby talk to me, I don't know why she feels the need to speak like this to me, I am smarter than the average baby, I do understand adult talk. She asks me to give her a kiss so I plant a big sloppy one on her cheek, she loves it when I do this, it puts a huge smile on her face. Then we're off back to my bedroom for a nappy change, it's about time, I've been in this wet thing all night. I like to make the nappy change process as difficult as possible, I bend my legs when she wants them straight and then straighten them when she wants them bent and of course I have to try to eat both of my feet at the same time.

Jobs are now done which means playtime for Mia! Yay, time to terrorise the toys on my playmat. I roll around attacking my toys whilst mum is talking to me from the kitchen as she makes her brekky. She turns her back on my for one minute so I decide to play a new game called 'Hide & Seek' I roll under the couch and decide that whilst I'm under here I'll spew up half of my milk and then roll around in it. Mum comes back over and finds me playing in my spew, I can tell she's not happy with me as she cleans both me and the floor, but she keeps smiling at me anyway.

We're on the move back to my bedroom and mum changes me into a nice fluffy clean jumpsuit, I wait until she's finished doing up all the little buttons and then I spew up some more brekky. This time she just gets a cloth and wipes it off though, what a shame, I was hoping for 3 ruined outfits before 7am. She says something about today being a long day which confuses me as I'm pretty sure all days are the same length. I wait until she turns her back and then I grab her phone and shoot off a text message to Pa Mick, he loves it when I send him texts and he things I'm pretty clever that I know how to use a phone (ok secret is out Pa, I don't really send them silly! Mum sends them pretending to be me). 

Mum gets a book out and starts reading to me, uh oh, I know what this means, it must be soon be time to be back in the straight jacket and into the cot, maybe if I'm really attentive and be really good whilst mum reads to me then she'll let me stay up. No such luck, the book is finished and it's back to bed for me, I behave and go to bed smiling at mummy, I used to protest a little but I soon learnt that even if I protest she still makes me go to sleep so I may as well just go to sleep quietly, after all the quicker I go to sleep the quicker I can get back up and terrorise my toys again.

To be continued after my nap...