10 things only a mum would do!

Since becoming a mum there are a few things that I never thought I would do before becoming a mum!

1. When out in public and discovering baby has done a nappy explosion, using hand to cover over the clothing covered in poo so that people don't see that your child has poo everywhere and judges you as a bad parent! - this happened just last week when waiting in a very long line at a petrol station counter and was of course followed by a nappy change and outfit change in the boot of the car which has been done many times before.

2. Go more than a week without washing my hair, dry shampoo is really a wonderful thing.  It seems that every time I wash my hair chunks fall out anyway so best to minimise the number of times it is washed to ensure I don't end up bald!

3. Go to the toilet whilst wearing a baby. What is one to do when wearing a sleeping baby in a baby carrier whilst busting for the loo, there is no way I am waking up the baby when she is sleeping and when you need to wee you need to wee, bladder control after having a baby is not the same as it used to be!

4. Be wide awake in the middle of the night even though my baby is fast asleep and has been for hours. I lie awake at times imagining I hear the sound of my baby, only to check on her via the baby video monitor and see that she is fast asleep. This can repeat multiple times a night, despite being extremely tired.

5. Talk baby talk, I always said I was never going to talk baby talk and speak to my children the same way I would speak to any adult. I have to confess I speak baby talk at least once a day.

6. Not even blink an eyelid when baby spews all over you, just wipe it up and keep on going. It's particularly awesome when somehow they manage to vomit right down your top and you end up with a pool of vomit sitting in your extremely attractive maternity bra.

7. Think my baby was adorable when really they kind of weren't! I always said that if my baby wasn't cute I'd be able to see that and admit it, but of course you realise when becoming a parent that you always think your baby is very cute. As I started pulling together her photo albums I looked back to the very early photos and came to the realisation that she was really a rather grumpy looking baby as first and took awhile to grow into her chubby cheeks. Now of course I think she is the cutest baby in the world (not a biased mum at all).

8. I never thought that I would ever want to be a stay at home mum. I have always enjoyed my career and worked hard to get to where I am, yet I now find that I am loving spending my days with my baby girl and watching her grow and change every single day. Sure I miss my career but I know that when I return to work I will miss my baby girl a million times more. I thought that I would be bored after a few weeks and itching to go back to work, but now at the thought of returning to work in only 5 weeks I am wishing I had many more weeks at home with my little girl.

9. Go to bed before the sun has gone down. Yes there has been many a night when after putting little miss to bed at 7.30 I have followed shortly after, having to pull down the blinds to block out the sun. I can now understand why parents don't like daylight savings.

10. Be a worrier! Ok well maybe this one was present prior to becoming a mum, those who know me well would probably say that I have always been a worrier only now this has increased 10 fold!  I worried in the early days when she slept for too long whether she was still breathing or not, I worry about every little cough, rash or mark on her little body, I worry if she is too hot or too cold, I worry if I am making enough milk for her and spend endless hours producing my own smoothies or biscuits to try to increase milk supply. 

Happy New Year

My New Years resolution (or one of many) is to stop being slack and get my blog back up and running, not for the benefit of others but purely for myself, I find it somewhat therapeutic and I enjoy looking back and being able to reflect on my life via my blog.

It's been 5 months since I last posted and my life has certainly changed a lot in those 5 months! I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl (maybe she wasn't so beautiful at the time, but she sure is a little cutie pie now!) in August and I have spent the past 4 1/2 months enjoying being a mum and watching my girl grow and change every day. 

The birth was a relatively easy birth so I will have to revisit a previous entry about which would be harder, child birth or an ironman! I was blessed from day one with a baby that sleeps fairly well so I haven't experienced the extreme sleep deprivation that some other poor mums experience.  Though it would be nice to just have one day where I don't have to get up at 6am (especially on New Year's Day when suffering a hangover). I have been lucky enough to successfully be able to breastfeed, though the early days did present some challenges with a blocked duct turning into an abscess that required draining 6 times. I started to look like a junkie with numerous needle marks and severe bruising on my breast, thankfully it all resolved itself eventually and I could start relaxing and enjoying motherhood a little more.

I have learnt that motherhood is the hardest job that I will ever have as it's a 24/7 job, yet it is also the most rewarding job. There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a great big smile every morning when I get her up (though this smile is very short lived as she becomes extremely impatient wanting her feed!).

I have learnt that babies will always poo or spew as soon as you put them in the car seat on your way out somewhere. I never leave the house without a spare change of clothes and plenty of bibs and spew rags! I have been spewed on countless times, and now don't even bother changing, just wipe it off and get on with things! 

I have learnt that the human body is truly an amazing thing, at 41 weeks pregnant I had gained 20kg's and my stomach was stretched to the max! At 4 months post partum I had lost the whole 20kg's plus a little more and my stomach almost looks like it has never housed a baby. 

I have re learnt the words to a number of nursery rhymes and have discovered that Old MacDonald is the only acceptable song when she is unhappy. Many a time in the car Old MacDonald has ran out of farm animals and suddenly ends up with some rather interesting things on his farm. After singing multiple renditions of this song yesterday I decided to create a new version 'Old MacDonald had a Zoo' only to quickly discover I don't know what noises any zoo animals make!

I have learnt that talking to a baby all day long can send you slightly crazy and when craving adult conversation you find yourself going to the local shops and making conversations with shop keepers just so that you can have one non baby conversation for the day! 

I have acquired new skills such as being able to perform nearly any task using only one arm whilst carrying a baby in the other. I have learnt that whilst breastfeeding you can multi task and catch up on emails and do all of your Christmas shopping online. I have learnt that tiny humans create a mountain of washing and you can't tell them to do it themselves! I have learnt that coffee and dry shampoo are my new best friends.

I have learnt that the love you feel for this tiny person you created is like no other you will ever feel. When she smiles and laughs you smile and laugh with her. When she cries you feel her pain and it hurts when you don't know what's wrong and how to help her. When you are feeling down she somehow knows how to make you happy, a smile, a hug, a sloppy wet kiss.

How to piss off a pregnant woman...

So at 37 weeks pregnant and feeling very much over the whole thing it is fair to say that I have become rather irritable and it doesn't take much to set me off.  However there are a few things that are really starting to piss me off, like when people say:

1. 'When are you due?' And then when I tell them they look at my huge belly and say 'oh wow you look ready to pop'

2. 'Has the baby dropped down yet' - no the baby hasn't dropped, she is pretty bloody comfy in there and making no sign of a quick exit

3. 'The doctors won't let you go overdue given how big the baby is and how little you are' - news flash, the doctors don't care how big the baby is unless they deem there to be a risk to either my health or the baby's health (on that note, must start researching how to elevate my blood pressure before doctors appointments!! - I can handle another 3 weeks of pregnancy but the thought of another 5 would be pure torture)

4. 'The baby will definitely come early' - given that my family has a long history of overdue babies and that first babies are more than likely to be overdue I am certainly not holding my breath for an early arrival, so neither should you.

5. 'Pregnancy is such a beautiful thing, I loved being pregnant' - if you haven't been pregnant in the last 25 years then you probably can't remember your pregnancy, and even if you did think pregnancy was a glorious time in your life, I don't, I am hating almost every minute of it.  I am just looking forward to the best present ever at the end of it.

To my little girl

To my baby girl,

It's now only a few weeks before mummy and daddy will get to meet you, we can't wait to hold you in our arms and to see what you look like.  Will you have lots of hair (more than daddy!) or none at all, will you have mummy's dimples, who will you look like?

I wonder who you will take after, whether you will be energetic and always on the go like mummy or more relaxed and laid back like daddy.  Daddy has visions of you being a sporting superstar, he doesn't mind what sport (as long as it's not power walking).  He's already volunteered to give up his lifetime of Saturdays to be able to take you to play sport. I see you being a little water baby and swimming with mummy in the pool, we already have bathers for you ready for the summer time.

Daddy has put me in charge of education, swimming and cycling (because yes mummy did beat daddy on the bike when we first met each other) daddy is in charge of teaching you everything else! I can't wait to buy you your first bike (the pink one that I never had).

Daddy can't wait until you are walking so that he can dress you in little overalls (pink ones, not the brown ones my mummy used to dress me in) and gumboots and take you to Bunnings on a Saturday morning. He wants to buy a house for our little family, one with a big enough backyard so that he can grow a veggie patch with you.  

I want you to be you, whoever you may be. I want you to grow up to be strong and independent, caring and loving with strong values, I hope that I can teach you to be these things.

I love you little girl

Mummy

xxx

4am

It's 4am and I'm awake for the 3rd night in a row, I'm tired, my hips are aching and my heartburn has been keeping me up half the night.  My mind is running overtime with a million questions I should have asked the midwife when I was at the hospital today.  I feel depressed because tonight I discovered even more stretch marks and no matter how much research I do on google there seems to be no remedy to remove stretch marks, these will forever be my scars that remind me of this beautiful thing I am doing.  I'm creating to do lists in my head of all the things I need to do before the baby arrives, it's my type A personality coming out, I need to be organised as it allows me to feel that I have some form of control over this situation for which I know I really have none.

When we saw the midwife today she tried to push out my due dates and Luke thought I was going to punch her! Whilst one part of me wants her to come quickly so I can meet her, the other part of me wants her to hurry up and get out of me so that my body stops aching, so that I can enjoy food again without it coming back up, so that she doesn't grow too big in there.

I feel her moving around inside and I know she too is getting uncomfortable as there is not much room left in there for her to wriggle around anymore, her feet kick me in the ribs and her little elbows try to push their way out. I think about how amazing it is that I have a little human growing inside of me, a mini me! I think about all the things I want for my little girl in her life, of who she might turn out to be.

Mixed Emotions

Day 4 of my mat leave and all this free time allows my mind to work overtime!  Part of me can't wait to meet my little girl, I am so excited to see what she looks like and finally hold her in my arms for the first time. I can't wait to bring her home and show her all the love we have for her and the wonderful nursery we've created for her.

Then there is the part of me that starts thinking about the labour and how petrified I am to actually go through the birth and bring her into the world, although upon reviewing the 32 week scan her head is normal size, it's just her belly that's off the charts for size and apparently head size is the only thing to worry about (I'm not so convinced). I know that women go through child birth every day and that our bodies were made for this so called amazing thing, but it doesn't mean I can't be absolutely s**t scared of my body being torn apart to bring life into this world.

Then I start thinking about what happens when I bring her home from hospital, what if I have no idea what to do, what if I am a terrible mum.  I've always been so in control of my life, from my education to my career and my sporting achievements, I've always had so much control over all of these elements.  For the first time ever I am going to have no control and it scares me. 

I think about my body (I know this sounds vain), am I ever going to get my old body back, will my stretch marks ever fade away? Some women will criticise me for even thinking this, tell me that the extra flab on my belly and thighs, the saggy boobs and the stretch marks are all just part of the experience and it is such a beautiful thing to be able to bring life into this world.  I used to pride myself on my fitness and now I look at old photos and wonder will I ever look like that again, will I ever get my fitness back.

I think ahead to next year when I return to work and wonder how am I going to juggle a career and motherhood and can I really do both well.  I feel guilty that I'm going to be putting my little girl into child care at only 6 months so that I can go back to work, to earn money to make sure she has the best possible life.  I worry that I won't be any good at my career because I'll spend all day thinking about my little girl, I worry that I won't be a good mum because I wont't be there for her when she needs a hug, I may miss out on those special first moments.

I've spent the past 8 months wishing time would hurry up so that I can hold her in my arms but now that it's so close I feel so scared. I always put so much pressure on myself to deliver the best I can in life, no matter what it is that I am doing, and motherhood is no different, I want to be the best mum that I possibly can.  I'm scared that I won't be and this is the most important job I'll ever have in my life.

Maternity Leave

Finally on maternity leave!  It feels great! Day 2 and so far it has been a very productive break from work!

Day 1

Housework

Laundry

Long walk

Massage

Coffee with a friend

Catch up with another friend

Afternoon nap

Tax returns done

Grocery shopping

Photos developed

Day 2

In true blog form I spent a lot of my day baking (after a well overdue haircut!).  Seeing as I can't really bike at the moment and baby is not quite here yet it felt like I should be true to this blog and do some baking!!  

I recently discovered the Natural Nutritionist website and some awesome recipes so I made some energy bars and a healthy chocolate slice.  I also made some pumpkin soup, prepared dinner and dessert for tonight and made some home made jam!!

Looking forward to a relaxing day at home tomorrow having a Scrapbooking day with mum.